Virgin's Guide to Burning Man

A Virgin's Guide to Burning Man can be found here.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Tick Tock

My Cousin Vinny/My biological clock is ticking like this...

Walking down State Street today, I came across a woman with the small, but distinct bump of pregnancy and I felt a pang. Pow! Just like that, I wanted to be her. Just for a moment.

Lately, I have found myself occasionally imagining what it would be like to be pregnant. I rub my belly lovingly as if there were a tiny little burgeoning being in there. I see cute little toddlers waddling and can't wipe the silly grin off my face (and no, I'm not the type to think all kids are cute). I have a soft spot in my heart for tiny little baby booties, and I go nuts buying up all the adorable little clothes for my nieces and my friend's baby boy. And even more recently, I have started wanting that feeling of excitement at being preggers, feeling the flutter in my belly, watching the little lovely alien in the sonogram, and counting little fingers and toes too tiny to be real.

I don't actually want kids--not yet. The thought of dealing with a child screaming in the store, sticky fingers all over my things, changing diapers, and feeding someone who thinks food belongs anywhere but in their mouth makes me cringe. I have been married less than a year and I LOVE life with just the two of us. I love that we can travel without too much hassle. I love that we can go to the movies--or do anything we want--on the spur of the moment. I love that our home is peaceful and quiet. I love knowing there is a possibility we might just up and move to a foreign country--that we can take the opportunity of a lifetime at the drop of a hat and not have to worry about the needs of a child. And I'm not ready to give that up yet. Much to the relief of my husband.

But my biological clock is quietly ticking away, and the pang I felt today was like the first alarm going off in the morning before you groggily slap it off. I hope it'll be a few years yet before it becomes insistent, demanding and all pervasive, à la Marisa Tomei's in My Cousin Vinny. (God I love that scene.) In the meantime, I will willfully keep hitting the snooze button.

1 comment:

  1. Welcome to my life. Although mine started 4 years ago.


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