Virgin's Guide to Burning Man

A Virgin's Guide to Burning Man can be found here.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Top 10 Reasons Not to Exercise

(Or excuses I give myself.)

1. Bad weather. In places like Minnesota, this probably involves snow. In California, this means rain. Or rain's younger sister, drizzle. It also includes: fog, hail, anything below 55ºF and winds above 15 mph.

2. Good weather. Because clearly the better reaction is to celebrate by trying that new ice cream parlour and plopping down on the beach with a smoothie and a good book.

3. No time. Between work, school, chores, eating, drinking, socializing, watching favorite shows on TV, reading books, scoping the net, sleeping, petting the kitty/puppy (and no that is no a euphemism--unless for you, it is), taking care of the kids, and um....washing one's hair--who has the time to exercise?

4. Too tired. After doing all of the above, who has the energy?

5. Sick or injured. Obviously you can't bring your germs into a gym, now can you? That would be rude, selfish and gross. And of course, how can I go for a walk when I've stubbed my toe?

6. I'll do it later. This is not so much an excuse as procrastination--until you've procrastinated so long it is now midnight and you can't do it until the next day. So you promise yourself you'll exercise tomorrow--and repeat.

7. I've already done it. I walked from my car to my office and back again. Surely that's enough for one day, right? In fact, I even took the stairs (because the elevator was broken) so that justifies having dessert!

8. I exercised yesterday so I can take today off. Wouldn't want to overdo it now. I might hurt something.

9. I forgot! Truly I meant to, but I got wrapped up and before I knew it my exercise hour was over.

10. I'm too lazy. I've run out of excuses but still can't get my ass off the couch.

Honorable Mentions:
I'm too fat and therefore must stuff my face in a vat of ice cream (for bad mirror days).

I'm thin enough and therefore don't really need to exercise (for good mirror days).


  1. oh so true. The good mirror days are the worst cause you can validate yourself through that one vision for at least a week...maybe two.

  2. Yeah it's kind of amazing how I could almost get down to an art the precise pose in the mirror combined with the exact outfit to convince myself the girl in the mirror is skinny.


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