Virgin's Guide to Burning Man

A Virgin's Guide to Burning Man can be found here.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Table for One, Please

The Husband is going out of town this weekend for some time with his boys. I'm invited, but I'm just not motivated to go. I like his guys, and I'm going to miss him every minute that he is gone. But I also truly love time to myself.

I love quiet time. I love to read a girly book, and I love staying up till 4 am because I just can't put it down. I love having my own space. I love girl-time; the time of gossip and chit-chat, of lemon-drops and appetizers, and of trying on each others' clothes. I love painting my toe nails and watching the chick movies we wouldn't watch together. It's all the little things I used to do as a Single Woman that no longer fit in the rhythm of Married Life.

And I love the time right when he gets back and we tell each other about all the little nothings that happened in each others' absence. It reminds me of when we were dating; excited to see each other and any minute apart seems too long.

Some people say I should keep him on a shorter leash; that we should do everything together. But I don't think so. I think that even when you are a We, you still need time and space to be just You. Time apart helps us not take each other for granted, helps us not feel smothered, helps us grow and change as individuals, and make us a stronger couple. It keeps us interesting and interested. I've seen couples who do stay too close and they don't last, or they make each other miserable. Maybe not at first, but 20-30 years down the line. Wives who keep their husbands too close sometimes create husbands who cling to secret information as their only lifeline for privacy. They keep secrets and hide things they don't necessarily need to hide, just for the sake of feeling they have some control.

I'm going to miss him every minute and I'll be sad to see him go. I'll be excited to see his name on my phone when he rings me to say goodnight. But I'm also going to love my little dose of independence.

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