Virgin's Guide to Burning Man

A Virgin's Guide to Burning Man can be found here.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Things I Learned From My Mother

1. Arrange food artistically when serving it. Food tastes even better when it looks appetizing.

2. Respect your elders, even if it seems they do not deserve it. There is always something to be learned from them, if only a lesson in your own humility.

3. A good chef knows if food is well-prepared just by the smell, when there is balance between the salty, the sour, and the sweet. I think there's something true about life here too: it's about finding the balance between salty, sour, and sweet.

4. Be frugal if you must, but never in food. You can scrimp and save everywhere in life, but when it comes to food, eat like kings.

5. It is our actions, not our words, that define who we are.

6. It's the little feminine touches, like lotion or body sprays, that take no effort but make all the difference when you're traveling.

7. Laugh often and uproariously. Life is meant to be laughed at and there is no shortage of ways to find pure glee.

8. Sometimes you say the most when you say nothing at all. Well-placed silence can often be more effective than the slickest words or loudest shrieks.

9. It can be a powerful tool when people don't quite know what to make of you.

10. Family, above all else. When you are at the end of everything, when there is nothing left, only family can be trusted to be there.

11. When you are broken and bleeding, a mother's hand upon your face can work magic.

12. Tell your children you can't always afford to buy them the toys they want (even if you can) and make them do chores (even if it would be done more efficiently by you). This instills the value of money and hard work. They'll grumble, but they'll appreciate you for it later in life.

13. Stupid rules are meant to be broken. But always be prepared to pay the consequences—or at least to outsmart the authority figures.

14. Life's too short to wear uncomfortable shoes. And if you can get away with it, bras should be discarded for the exact same reason.

15. Diamonds really are worth it.

16. You should never be too uptight to enjoy a good joke about sex.

17. Do not imbibe margaritas when you should be cooking dinner for your husband's boss, who is about to arrive.

18. Don't be afraid to wear bright beautiful colors. Do it tastefully, but do it.

19. Don't be rude, not even to people who serve you or work for you.

20. Watching movies with someone, even when neither of you are talking, is spending quality time together.

21. This too shall pass.

22. Fear thy mother's wrath.

23. Weekends are for fresh-baked bread, smoked salmon or foie gras, shallots and lime. Paired with a good sauvignon blanc.

24. Travel while you're young. If you wait until retirement, you'll be too old and fatigued to endure the travails which inevitably come with travel.

25. Families require management. As a woman, it is your job to manage the family and do it in a way that they don't realize they're being managed...and yet they always come to you for advice.


  1. I am honored by your response. Namashkar.

  2. Yeah I used to think diamonds were just a lot of money for some pretty rocks. Boy, was I wrong! :)


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